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Elite Daily – Here’s How To Tell If Your Roommate Is Toxic, According To Therapists

How to tell if your roommate is toxic according to Dr. Danielle Forshee, Psy.D., and Elite Daily

Having said that, though, there’s a difference between someone you just don’t see eye to eye with and someone who’s actually toxic. According to doctor of psychology and licensed clinical social worker Dr. Danielle Forshee, Psy.D., a toxic person can be defined as “someone who violates personal boundaries physically, emotionally, or psychologically.” Oftentimes, she tells me in an interview with Elite Daily, these types of people are “passive aggressive, or [act in ways that] make it difficult to assess their genuineness.”

Now, there are a few ways to go about dealing with a toxic roomie once, as Ace Of Base would put it, you open up your eyes and see the signs. According to Dr. Danielle Forshee, Psy.D., , it’s very important to address the toxicity with the other person first, “before making any assumptions or moves,” i.e. packing your bags and leaving them stranded without forking over half the rent as payback.

“Point out the situation(s),” she tells Elite Daily, “then say how you feel about them, ask open-ended questions to understand their perspective, and then tell them what you need.” In other words, imagine structuring the conversation like you would an essay: state your case, back up your claim, and make a closing argument you both can work with. Personally, I loathe confrontation, but when it comes to your living space, these types of conversations are more than necessary, especially if your roommate is actually toxic. Like I said, there’s a difference between someone constantly leaving unwashed dishes for you to clean and someone who makes you feel insignificant on a daily basis.

Here are a few tell-tale signs your roommate is toxic AF, so you can decide for yourself whether they’re just slightly annoying, or someone you cannot, under any circumstance, continue to co-exist with.

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