Overcoming Rejection

You will be able to cope with and recover from rejection quickly if you know how to deal with it. It will likely happen to every single one of us at some point in our lives. Of course, one of the most common ways we face rejection is in our relationships with others.

Forms of Rejection

When you have experienced rejection, you have likely reacted with disappointment, anger, hurt, and you have probably felt as though you failed. This is especially true of people who are on the brink of or going through a divorce. These are all completely normal feelings and emotions to experience given the situation. However, no matter what it is that made you feel rejected it’s all about overcoming it. The rejection could take form in a variety of ways, including:

  • Love or feelings that are not reciprocated by your partner
  • The end of a relationship
  • The infidelity of your spouse
  • Being treated poorly by your spouse
  • Being criticized by your spouse
  • Your spouse rejecting your sexual advances

It is completely natural for the wronged party to feel rejected. Once the shock wears off it is deeply upsetting to ruminate over what went wrong. You are in an incredibly vulnerable place as you attempt to make sense of what happened, and you often clutch on to the rejection. It’s normal to grieve the end of a marriage. However, it is vital to keep it in perspective. You may be looking at the dissolution of your relationship through a fractured lens.

Often times, there are existing problems within the relationship. One person (or both) is unhappy and checks out of the relationship, long before the end comes. Of course, life would be made easier if people learned how to effectively communicate their unhappiness as work through the situation, rather than letting it fester until it gets to the point of no return.

It’s Not Always Personal

Rejection often feels like a personal attack and a normal part of the process is accepting that the things you expect or wanted may not to happen. Whether it’s never having children together, watching your favorite show alone, or not being able to go to your favorite restaurant together again. This is when those negative inner voices come out and try to dictate your reactions. You can overcome this and heal from rejection.

  • It’s normal to react to rejection in an emotional way. You will experience a range of them as your relationship goes through the divorce process.
  • Every relationship will end eventually (whether as a result of a breakup or a death), but that doesn’t mean that you are inadequate. So, go easy on yourself.
  • You are worth something on your own and the love of another person doesn’t define your worth. You are a complete person without a partner.
  • When a marriage ends it is completely expected to feel rejected. Healing takes time.
  • Now that you are on your own it’s time to get to know who you are again. Try new experiences and discover hobbies that you are passionate about.
  • Build a strong network of support around you and surround yourself with positive people who have your back.

In these types of situations, it can always be helpful to reach out to your support system or a professional who can help guide you through the gamut of emotions you’re experiencing.