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How To Manage Mother’s Day If You Don’t Have A Relationship With Your Mother

Mother’s Day is seen as a day of celebration. However, for some, it isn’t as simple and straightforward as that. Not everyone has a great relationship with their mother; in fact, not everyone has a relationship with their mother at all. Mother’s Day can be a tender subject for a lot of people; it brings up old feelings and uncomfortable thoughts that one would prefer to avoid. If you don’t have a relationship with your mother, then these tips are for you.

  • Seek Help

If you are in this position, there’s a good chance you could use a professional ear to bend. An objective listener will serve as your sounding board and help you work through the feelings that you experience with regards to your relationship with your mother. It isn’t about repairing that relationship or seeking to mend fences unless that’s what your goal is; it’s about healing yourself of any hurt, shame or guilt that you might feel. We often have no idea that the little voice inside our heads driving us to act in a certain way doesn’t belong to us. A therapist can help you get to the root of it.

  • A Substitute

Do you often find yourself forging bonds with older women? You always chalk it up to your maturity level, the truth is you may be seeking a substitute. You’re seeking the closeness that is absent from your life. That’s okay, seek out that substitute, take their advice, lean on their friendship. If you think about it, you have probably had a number of these friendships over the years. It might be someone at work or a friend’s mom. Reach out to one of those people this Mother’s Day, just to let them know how much they mean to you.

  • You Are Different

When someone compares you to your mother, does it incite rage? We all share traits with our parents, from our looks to our attitudes. Unfortunately, that includes the negative ones. So, when someone points out one of these similarities, it can be endlessly frustrating, especially when it’s a comparison to a mother you don’t have a relationship with. It’s imperative to remember that you are different – you’re not her. It’s important that you take a moment today to remember that and focus on your amazing qualities.

Finally, make this day about you! Whether you’re a mother yourself or not, you can engage in a bit of self-care. Surround yourself with the people that you love, enjoy your favorite snacks, activities, and just bask in the beautiful glow of your life. Just take it easy and enjoy your day.

Posted in Positive and Negative Reinforcement, Self Therapy

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