The Gottman Method is one of the most well-researched and empirically supported approaches to couples therapy, offering a robust framework for helping couples build and maintain healthy, lasting relationships. It is backed by decades of research conducted by Dr. John Gottman and his colleagues at the Gottman Institute. The primary evidence supporting this approach includes:
Longitudinal Studies
Extensive longitudinal studies over the past 40 years have been conducting, observing couples in various settings to identify the behaviors and interactions that predict relationship success or failure. These studies involve:
- The Love Lab: A research facility where couples are observed and their interactions are recorded and analyzed. Physiological data such as heart rate, skin conductivity, and facial expressions are also monitored.
- Follow-Up Studies: Long-term follow-ups with the same couples to track their relationship outcomes over many years.

Predictive Validity
Gottman’s research has demonstrated a high level of accuracy in predicting which couples will stay together and which will divorce, with an accuracy rate of over 90%. Key predictors identified include:
- The Four Horsemen: Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling, which are highly predictive of divorce if not addressed.
- Positive-to-Negative Ratio: Stable relationships have a ratio of 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction during conflict. This is known as the “magic ratio.”
Interventions and Techniques
The Gottman Method incorporates specific interventions and techniques that have been empirically tested and shown to improve relationship satisfaction and stability. These include:
- Emotion Coaching: Helping partners understand and respond to each other’s emotions effectively.
- Conflict Management: Teaching couples how to manage conflict constructively rather than trying to resolve all differences.
- Enhancing Friendship and Intimacy: Fostering deeper emotional connections and intimacy through exercises and activities that build love maps, share fondness and admiration, and turn towards each other.
Peer-Reviewed Publications
The Gottman Method’s efficacy is supported by numerous peer-reviewed articles published in reputable journals. These studies document the outcomes of Gottman Method interventions and compare them to other forms of couples therapy.
Replicability
The principles and interventions of the Gottman Method have been replicated and validated by other researchers, reinforcing their reliability and effectiveness across diverse populations and settings.
Marital & Couples Counseling Protocol
- Assessment: A conjoint session, followed by individual interviews with each partner are conducted. Couples complete electronic screening measures and then during our next conjoint appointment, I will provide detailed feedback on the identified areas for growth, as well as the existence of negative behavior patterns and dynamics that are predictors of divorce.
- Therapeutic Framework: After completion of the assessment phase, the couple and I decide on the frequency and duration of sessions
- Interventions: Interventions are designed to help couples strengthen their relationships in three primary areas: friendship, conflict management, and creation of shared meaning. Couples learn to replace negative conflict patterns with positive interactions and to repair past hurts. Interventions designed to increase closeness and intimacy are used to improve friendship, deepen emotional connection, and create changes which enhances the couples shared goals. Relapse prevention is also addressed.
Philosophy
- The couples therapy process is mostly dyadic; meaning, between the couple. The goal is to teach couples how to communicate with each other. Over time, this promotes confidence they can rely on each other and again, reinforces the notion that a third-party intervening in their relationship will not always be a necessary force for their relationship to be successful. The therapist will act more as a validating coach and “translator” of the feelings and needs of each person in the interaction. The therapist will also explain and teach constructive conflict management skills and provide methods and concrete interventions for the couple to deepen their friendship and intimacy
- The couple is encouraged to fight in our office as they would at home. The therapist’s role is not to stop conflict, but to allow the process to unfold as it would in its natural environment (unless safety is compromised). This allows for a process called “state-dependent learning”, which when exposed to it, provides opportunity for both partners to learn how to self-soothe, and soothe one another. This renders the therapist replaceable, as you will learn to deal with conflict on your own and as a couple, ultimately minimizing a couple’s relapse upon termination of therapy
- Beating up people about undesirable behaviors is not necessary. Instead, the focus is on inquiry, exploration and understanding. Overall, much of conflict resolution is an exploration of meaning behind the conflict, not the content of the conflict itself
- Some may view marital and couples’ therapy as a way to fix major disorders in their partner, with perhaps some minor adjustments for themselves. This is called the “fundamental attribution error” or attributing the sources of relationship problems to the other and not to oneself. In all relationships, each person’s behavior is affected by the other. This is called “circular causality”. Instead of labeling one person as pathological, each person’s pathology is viewed as a reaction to the others. Because our practice approaches conflict from this perspective, the therapist can maintain a neutral stance during sessions. This is imperative to the integrity of marital and couples counseling and to the desired outcome of treatment
- While exploration of childhood is necessary to understand how experiences have influenced how people view relationships, the world and themselves, marital and couples counseling is not intended to heal or change how these experiences may have affected the person they are today.
- Our practice’s stance on emotions is in line with Darwin’s theory- all emotions are functional. It is not necessarily true that behind anger lies the primary emotion of fear, nor is it necessarily true that behind anger is insecurity, attachment or psychiatric problems (though in some it may be). In marital and couples counseling, the expression and understanding of pure anger can be the basis for greater understanding, fairness, emotional connection, and bonding for partners.
Infidelity
In situations where infidelity was the catalyst for couples counseling, the therapist may determine a need for a “contracting” session to occur prior to the commencement of any interventions. The contracting session is essential in relationships where there has been an infidelity because of the shattered foundation of trust and assumptions of what the marriage once was, as well as the heightened emotions that follow. During the contracting session, we will outline what it will take to repair the relationship (potentially, the need for partner to disclose details of the infidelity); cut off all contact with the other; rebuild a relationship; the disclosing of any further contact with the affair partner prior to your own partner inquiring, and talking about the infidelity only during counseling appointments. Couples and marital counseling are contraindicated in instances where one partner is continuing to have contact with the affair partner.
Confidentiality: Marital & Couples Counseling
The goal of couples and marital counseling is the amelioration of psychological distress and interpersonal conflict and is dependent upon trust and openness during therapy sessions. The client is the couple and their relationship; not the parties individually. Therefore, information disclosed during the initial individual sessions is not confidential. Confidentiality is not guaranteed in marital or couples’ therapy, and anything shared in an individual session will be discussed in subsequent therapy sessions with your partner if it is necessary for proper treatment. If information is shared during an individual session that needs to be disclosed to the partner, the therapist will offer the individual every opportunity to disclose the relevant information and provide guidance in this process. Should the individual opt not to disclose the relevant information, privately, or with assistance, counseling will be terminated. The same applies to phone calls, voice mails, text messages and email messages.