Online dating can be fun, but it can be stressful as well. It’s good to keep in mind that not all stress is bad stress, because learning how to cope with it in healthy ways is the best way to deal. Never has anyone who tried to ignore stress became less stressed, so dealing in the best way you know will help you to get through online dating, and every bit of anxiety that comes with it.
Dating can be unpredictable whether it begins online or not, and anyone who has ever been in a fresh relationship knows that uncertainty is a big part of the excitement of fresh young love (or lust). Unfortunately for a lot of us, uncertainty brings anxiety, and with anxiety comes stress and potential emergency of other more sinister demons. Knowing yourself, and predicting that this might be the case, it can often become so stressful that you simply give up.
The Mind Plays Tricks
The mind plays tricks on you by asking a range of hypothetical questions. Are they as serious about online dating as you are? Are they too serious too soon? What if I fall in love too soon and get hurt? Are they an axe murderer? What if you just got a puppy instead?
We’ve all had these same conversations with our friends-trying to work out mixed messages given with indeterminately vague levels of communication. For the seasoned daters who have been bitten one too many times, there are certain levels of defense mechanisms that begin to fall into place when these types of messages are received, leaving no option but to be completely upfront and bold from the word go. So, questions begin to get asked on the second, third or even the first date with virtually complete strangers like “do you think I’m better than average? Do you want to be with me?” which can all too often backfire, leaving you sitting at a bar wondering where you went wrong this time.
Dating Can Be Terrifying
Nobody wants to end up with a broken heart. Nobody wants to look silly and nobody wants to get hurt.
Online dating has an even higher level of stress than normal dating. Normal dating is confined to face to face conversations, it feels real because it is real. Online dating has introduced a whole new level of concealed deceit that can go on for long periods of time. The digital world allows anyone to be whoever they want to be, and it allows anyone to portray themselves as someone they are not. Online, people are free to create a persona of their own; to make people like them for who they want to be, not who they are. And anyone who has ever met someone in real life after speaking only online to them will quickly tell you that not everyone is who they say they are.
These facts alone are highly stressful for anyone seeking to date online. This kind of stress creates self-doubt, and it makes you wonder why you are still trying to find someone special.
So, how do you deal with the stresses of online dating? You have two options, and they are ‘just don’t date’ or ‘have a plan’.
When we know something is going to stress us out, we know that we need to have a plan to help us through the stress. Dating is no different.
- Balance your stress with fun.
- Be honest and ask for honesty in return.
- Your worth is not defined by someone else’s opinion of you, it’s based on your own opinion.
- If you are feeling stressed out, take some time out to do something you love doing.
- Remember always, it’s better to be single than with someone who lies, cheats or doesn’t love you like you love them.