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What Can I Expect From Marriage Counseling?

Every couple on earth goes through a rough stage where you can’t seem to agree on anything, have difficulty getting along, or feel disconnected from each other to a point where you simply don’t know what to do.

When a couple gets to this point there really aren’t many options. You either work it out between yourselves, you separate, or you get some external help from a professional. Therapy can seem like a very daunting option for most couples, it can be scary, and can feel very intrusive bringing a third party into the private aspects of your life. No matter how broken your relationship and how far beyond repair you think it is, there are a few things you should try to savor the love that you once had.

Although it is often the last resort option, there are many benefits to seeing a relationship counselor before the issues in your relationship become too big to handle. Here are a few things you should expect from Marriage Counseling.

You Don’t Both Need to Attend

Although counseling is most beneficial when both parties are present, it doesn’t necessarily need to be that way. It is still possible to repair problems in a marriage even if only one half of you are present. Counselors can give advice that can help one party to cope, advice on how to deal with specific issues and offer strategies to reduce friction. The main reason for marriage counseling is to make a plan for moving forward that sorts out the issues that are present, and even if only one person is attending counseling this can still happen.

The End Result Is Determined by You

A marriage counselor has no specific role within your marriage; they simply act as the mediator that guides the communication between you and your partner. The result will always be up to you and your partner to make changes. The counselor will guide your relationship to find the issues, so both you and your partner need to be willing to take responsibility for your own actions and change to get a result you can work with.

Your counselor will ask you to reflect and rather than react to an issue, and they will ask you to share your feelings and thoughts. Your counselor will help you to be open in your communication efforts, but you need to be willing to do this. Mostly your counselor will ask a lot of questions to help figure out how you both feel and what you both want, as well finding common ground as a solution.

They May Ask About Your History

There will be times in your counseling sessions that may not seem relevant to your marriage issues, but your counselor is simply trying to establish underlying issues that may be causing the problems that you are having.
Your counselor might ask things about previous relationships, your childhood, your habits, communication styles and they will ask for examples of when things in your relationship were good. Honest communication of these things will help to link issues from the past with current ones for the purpose of self-understanding.

You Get Back Out What You Put Into It

This bit is self-explanatory, but the more you invest in your relationship through the counseling, the better the results will be for you in the long run. Whether you decide that you will stick together and change yourselves to adapt to a better future, or separate and move on, if you put everything into the counseling sessions that you can, you are more likely to know more about yourselves, allowing you to grow in a positive way.