Whether your relationship was short-lived or a decades-long romance, the ending is always difficult. Breakups not only affects your heart but oftentimes leave us feeling physically ill. There is no magic remedy to remove the pain of a breakup, but finding healthy ways to cope will help you get over it with a bit of grace and strength.
One study found that a breakup can cloud your sense of self. The more serious the relationship, the bigger the crisis. It doesn’t matter whether it was time that led to the breakup or the relationship was unhealthy – you’re starting over. It’s even more difficult if you break up during the month of love.
The first step in the process is the grieving period. There will be disappointment, there will be anxiety about the future, and you may even feel abandoned. It’s important that you look after yourself and treat yourself with kindness during the healing process. Time will help with healing, but it is not time in itself that heals. It’s what you do with that time.
Talking it out
You can choose to talk about it or opt for writing. Either way, getting it all out is a helpful way to work through your emotions. That doesn’t mean you have to visit a mental health professional, you can use your friends as a sounding board. There are a lot of emotions to deal with during a breakup – sadness, loneliness, anger, rejection – it’s all part and parcel. You have to confront those feelings if you want to get through them in one piece. Just allow yourself to feel them.
Celebrate the Silver Linings
It can be difficult to see all of the amazing things in your life when your vision is clouded by sadness. That’s natural. However, you have to push beyond that and focus on those positives. This might take the form of a gratitude journal or a simple list that you create daily as a reminder of the many positive things in your life. It’s all about shifting from grief to a positive mindset. It might be difficult to start with, but once you get started you will experience a boost in mood as you easily list the things you’re grateful for.
Do What You Love
Often, during the course of a relationship, we lose touch with hobbies, activities, and friends that we enjoy. It’s natural, as your partner takes up more of your time and work keeps us busy. After a breakup, it’s important that you force yourself to get out and about. One of the best ways to do this is by indulging in activities that you really enjoy. So, call your friends and head to the movies or the salon or the spa or the driving range. Whatever it is, make time to do it!
If your interests tend to be solo activities, then you should try to balance them with socializing with friends. It’s important to indulge your hobbies, but it’s also important to increase your socialization after a breakup.